domingo, 30 de agosto de 2009

Describing words

I remember talking to you about your ex-girlfriends was a pleasant thing to do. We just sat on your bed, smoked some weed and started talking. I remember thinking you were a really nice guy because of the way you referred to those girls. I specially liked the description of Kirya. "She was a like a little piece of the sun", you said. You showed me her photo next, and you know what? she actually looked like a little piece of the sun. She had really blonde hair, great skin, she was short and thin. You couldn't really see her face, but she was eating something out of a bowl. Probably rice, like the one you made a few weeks before I left.
I also remember you describing the girlfriend you had before Kirya. She was nice until she started acting like your mother. Then you peaced, then she was heart broken. But, since you're the good guy, you apologized and things between you are ok now.
There was always something good to say about those girls, and you meant every word. What are you gonna say when someone asks you about me? Is there even gonna be anyone interested in your mexican fling? Maybe they'll ask questions about sex and particular smells, don't you think? Or if I was warmer and less independent than canadian girls? What are you going to answer, rabbit?
Maybe you should tell them what you told me the day we were watching V for Vendetta. That I was beautiful yet strong looking. My nose, my eye brows were something special. They make me look tough, but attractive. Naaah, I don't think you would say that, you didn't talk about their looks, you just pointed out a good quality.
Ok, so? maybe that I was a good listener, that there was no language barrier between us, at least I could understand everything you said and I could get my message across when I needed to. Maybe you could say that in the end, you realized we were looking for different things, you noticed we didn't like each other as much as we thought at first, but you know, the damage was done, I was about to leave, we did all the fun stuff, so why finish it, right?
Probably you'll say "Oh, she was a really nice girl, just a little bit too intense. We talked about stop seeing each other a thousand times, but she never gave up". Yeah, I think I'd like you to say that about me. You know? at first it was all like a fairy tale but in the end, we were just from different worlds. I recall my friends asking "what's gonna happen with him? is he gonna come to Mexico once you're here?" and at first I answered something like "Yeah, maybe", but later, I was sure that was never going to happen. Even when we talked on facebook I was like "hey, i really hope we meet again" and you were like "yeaaaah, I doubt it, but you never know". Don't get me wrong man, you taught me a lot, A LOT, but in the end it was very disappointing to realize things weren't as I wanted them to be. All that bullshit about loving each other, eeerrrr maybe we shouldn't have said it. I don't regret it, it was so refreshing! but i also think that situation brought the end sooner than I wanted to.

Before you know, you end up going to Montréal for a weekend, wanting some new skin, and having it your way...

martes, 25 de agosto de 2009

Movimiento

Después de mucho tiempo de pasividad y auto-atole con el dedo, me decidí a hacer algo por y para mi solita! El resultado de este trabajo no lo compartiré con nadie voluntariamente. Es mio y sólo mio. Yo si creo que de algo somos dueños en este mundo.
Tengo miedo, y bueno, esa es la forma educada de decirlo. Bien podría decir que me estoy cagando, es cierto. Pero no es un miedo que paralice, al contrario, es un miedo que me urge a avanzar a lo que siga, casi de manera frenética, aunque la realidad mantenga el curso lento.
Los días cambian pero todos me parecen el mismo. Dormir, comer, ir a la escuela, palabras por aquí y por allá. Charla trivial que me mantiene en la tierra, antes de salir por la puerta de atrás. Momentos deliciosos pero artificiales, que al final me dan una apariencia marchita. Nuevos gustos, igualmente creados, y hasta forzados, por tener algo en qué pensar.
Mucha incertidumbre acerca de quien soy y lo que puedo lograr. Incertidumbre que me ha acompañado desde hace tanto y que hasta hace poco me decidí a dejar atrás. Y no porque crea que va a desaparecer por completo, sin esa incertidumbre no hay un motor que te acerque a nuevas metas. No, la dejo atrás porque no deseo otra cosa más que estar satisfecha conmigo misma. Sentirme orgullosa de lo que soy. Saber y COMPRENDER que no tengo nada más que este cuerpo, esta mente y unas ganas locas de hacer todo, de ver todo, de probar todo. Poco a poco las cosas que "tenía" van desapareciendo, algunas de golpe, otras delicadamente. Gente, lugares, formas de ser que se van quedando atrás para dar paso a una realidad cruda pero más sincera. Un despertar necesario. Una vida solitaria...

viernes, 21 de agosto de 2009

Obsesionada con:


There's a place on the planet
Where I can lean, where I can rest
It's in your arms, on your chest
I am out of balance, in a state of Grace...
State of Grace...

I am scared of taking too much space
For us it was always the case
I am on the way to find my place
Here and now in a taste of Grace...
Taste of Grace...

I hear a sound I hear the bass
Like a fist in my face
I am a new born out of the nest
I was touched by Grace...
Touched by Grace...

I hear the bass, I hear the bass
In my face, in my face

Touched by Grace...

domingo, 16 de agosto de 2009

Si sí, hoy estoy muy escritora, y qué!?

Después de tres años, T R E S A Ñ O S!!! de:
  • Cosas nuevas
  • Dolor, mucho dolor
  • Relación
  • Destrucción
  • Obstrucción
  • Creación
  • Intentos, miles de intentos
  • Amor
  • Obsesión
  • Alegría (felicidad no)
  • Gente
  • Fiestas
  • etc.
  • etc.
  • etc.
la vida me vuelve a traer al mismo punto, si sí, ese en el que estaba antes de conocerte. Y sabes qué? sigo pensando lo mismo, que estoy sola (no que me voy a quedar, porque asi ya estaba).
Manera optimista de ver las cosas, no?
Ya me conoces, sabes que no perderé la esperanza...

Extracto

[22:14:03] Aram joins conversation
[22:14:03] Aram says:
si caray
[22:14:03] Aram says:
y tu que tal?
[22:14:06] Aram says:
que te has echo?
[22:14:16] Aram says:
encontre hoy tu cadena
[22:14:19] Aram says:
jojojo
[22:14:21] Aram says:
:)
[22:15:14] Si es temor, si es rencor o la falsa indiferencia de una mancha de lluvia en tu memoria... says:
jajajaja no que ya la habías perdido???
[22:15:16] Si es temor, si es rencor o la falsa indiferencia de una mancha de lluvia en tu memoria... says:
donde estaba
[22:16:24] Aram says:
me compre hace mucho un maletin, y lo abri hoy y hay estaba la cadenita con el anillo...pero el caballo quien sabe donde quedo
[22:16:32] Si es temor, si es rencor o la falsa indiferencia de una mancha de lluvia en tu memoria... says:
jajajajaja
[22:16:36] Si es temor, si es rencor o la falsa indiferencia de una mancha de lluvia en tu memoria... says:
y que harás con ella?
[22:16:45] Aram says:
las guardare
[22:16:55] Aram says:
bonitos tiempos aquellos
[22:17:34] Si es temor, si es rencor o la falsa indiferencia de una mancha de lluvia en tu memoria... says:
muy bonitos

Mi imagen empresarial


Guácala...